Abe Vigoda was once declared dead by People Magazine, which he took in good humor by photographing himself reading the issue in a coffin. Unfortunately, his days of cheating the reaper have caught up to him.
Last night, Abe Vigoda expired peacefully in a fiery car crash after a high speed chase with 30 police vehicles. A premortem found high levels of barbituates, PCP and a fish tranquilizer in his system. The five FHM models in the car with him were thrown clear and were cushioned by various implants.
R.I.P. Abe Vigoda, you crazy bastard.