An Invidious Comparison

Last month, there arose a story that spread around the Internet like wildfire.

Wait…wildfires don’t actually traverse DSL wires.  Rats.  Nor do hotcakes.

Okay, I don’t have a good metaphor, but regardless…”The Bible” mini-series was a tremendous hit for the History channel.  However, viewers noticed that the Moroccan actor playing Satan looked not too dissimilar from Barack Obama.  Right-wing commentators had a field day with this.

Now The Bible is out on DVD and Blu-Ray, which means even more people are paying attention to it and writing about the Satan/Obama comparison.  I think this is absolutely ridiculous, and it makes our side of the aisle look loopy.

Cripes, I never thought I’d be defending this guy, but too many people in the chattering classes are taking this way too far!  They’re going overboard, and in the interest of cooling things down, I think we should set a few things straight in his defense:

• Satan is actually effective at his job.
• Satan works very hard to achieve his aims.
• Satan doesn’t take lavish vacations.  Really, the guy’s a workaholic.
• Satan supports his armed forces, having served in it at one time as the leader.  He believes in their mission and their goals.
• Satan does not vote “Present” on anything.
• Satan does not say “Uh” or “Um.”
• Satan understands economics on at least a grade-school level, and may have cracked open a text about it at one point.  He understands supply and demand.  He understands taxes and incentives.  He recognizes Ponzi schemes for what they are.
• Satan would never refer to a terrorist as just “a guy who lives in my neighborhood.” Satan recognizes a terrorist as a terrorist.
• Satan, being the master of damnation, knows that if something is truly torture, people don’t volunteer to undergo it as a demonstration of how bad it is.
• If Satan heard that grade school children were singing songs about him, he would find it a little unsettling.
• If celebrities were lauding Satan in videos where they each say a couple words over and over in a rapidly spliced repetitive montage, he would not only be creeped out by it but he would loudly ask his minions, “Who, who could possibly enjoy watching that?”

All right, that’s enough of that.  I think everyone would agree that none of these things describe President Barack Obama, so let’s hold off on this nonsensical and invidious comparison.

Update: Welcome IMAO readers!  You can sort through my tag cloud to see my other political and or/humorous musings.  Thanks for making me link of the day, Harvey!