Delivering a Severe Beating to Straw Men Everywhere

I don’t know the source, but this appears on a classroom wall:

Text on a classroom wallLet’s take these 1 by 1…

  1. Dear Black Students: In this classroom, your life matters. (But only in the classroom, apparently. Huh. I would have said it matters everywhere.)
  2. Dear Muslim Students: You are not terrorists. (That is, unless this unknown wall is from the University of DartmouthBunker Hill Community College , Chowan University or North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University, Virginia Tech or USUHS, Stanford University, Indian State CollegeCalifornia State University, UC-Merced, UT-Chattanooga, and on and on and on. Actually, this may be the stupidest statement up here because how can anyone categorically state it?)
  3. Dear LGBTQ+whatever: Your life is beautiful and allowed to expand past fake social rules. (Otherwise known as actual social rules, because nobody has to overcome fake rules. As for “your life is beautiful”, that’s the kind of meaningless uplifting pap one can say so long as you’re not actually picturing the hairy men in ass-less chaps at the parade.)
  4. Dear Female Students: Men cannot grab you. (They have hands. They can. Grammar aside, lots of women love being grabbed…especially by billionaires who are known to swap out wives for new hotties. I think this one needs a total rewrite to address the real issue of consent. And by the way…how LOW is the bar now that this is all you’re willing to say to the female students? So…rapes will NOT be happening on the pinball game during class time? Finally, a professor willing to take a stand on this troubling issue!)
  5. Dear Latino(a) Students: You are not rapists and drug dealers. (There absolutely are some of these of every race on any campus, so this one is even statistically more unwise than the terrorist one.)
  6. Dear Illegal Immigrant Students whose only difficulty is a lack of papers which happens when you break the law: In this classroom there are no walls. (Says the…sign. On a wall.)