Look, I don’t care about celebrity romances. Usually, Hollywood marriage stuff just depresses me, and half of it is false anyway. But Tom Cruise is currently in the running to take the “celebrity who creeps me out” trophy away from Michael Jackson.

In case you (sensibly) haven’t been following the details, Katie Holmes disappeared for two weeks and re-emerged in love with much older celebrity Tom Cruise (now claiming that she’s always carried a torch for him) and cash-sucking, mind-****ing Scientology, the money vacuum disguised as a belief system made up by a science fiction writer.

Yeah, that’s right, I said it. We’ll see how long this stays up. If this post is edited or deposted, you’ll know that a few heavies and a lawyer were at my door. Scientology’s tight control of any discussion about their cult is well-known, but the too-public case of Katie Holmes may finally shed too much light their way. In half a month, Katie’s ditched her friends, dropped her longtime manager and agent, concerned her family and is now being surrounded by her all-new “friends.”

Now it looks like the press’ negative coverage of the romance has led to them being blocked from the War of the Worlds premiere. Locking out the critics because they work for papers that don’t smile on the couple? Wow.

Free Katie! offers “We’re Totally In Love World Tour 2005” t-shirts.