The Biggest Loser (which doesn’t appear to have a show web site yet) has been announced as a new reality show in which overweight people compete to lose the most pounds, all the while being counseled by fitness instructors and dietitians. The person who loses the most gets to walk away with a quarter million dollars (before taxes).

Frankly, this is the first reality show that seems worth a damn. For almost two decades we’ve had to tolerate all these actor-wannabes who are “living” “real” lives in front of cameras, or “surviving” in some vacation spot where help is only a few feet away if there was any real danger, or pretending that choking down raw cow parts and downing a glass of bile while Joe Rogan encourages you has anything to do with “fear” as opposed to “common sense.” And don’t get me started on these cosmetic surgery competitions.

Now, finally, there’s a true contest which is positive and will benefit everyone on it. Plus, you get to meet Caroline Rhea.

My question is: How do I get on for the second season?

I’m serious, folks. I need to lose dozens and dozens of pounds, and having a competition would give me some real motivation. Back in 1992, when I was unemployed and couldn’t find work in the Wisconsin northwoods, I tried to join the Air Force. Turns out that the MAXIMUM allowable weight for my height was 178, and I weighed 215 at the time. (I hadn’t been 178 since I was 17). I was stunned: I thought the whole point of boot camp was to have a mean drill instructor making remarks about my thighs and shouting at me as I blubbered during pushups…but that whole John Candy thing in S.T.R.I.P.E.S. was a big lie! You have to be in excellent shape before you get in the military.

For some time, I’ve contemplated having a Comic Book Guys Weight Loss Contest, just because I know so many fans and pros who truly need to lose some weight. What am I talking, “some weight”. They need to lose the equivalent of a teenage girl. Unfortunately, I’ve never figured out how to run such a contest online, short of the honor system, or what prizes I could possibly give out to the winners to make it worth it. Plus, approaching people to join the competition wouldn’t make me too many friends in the industry!

But “The Biggest Loser Season Two”? Sign me up! Heck, I don’t even care about the prize money; at least it’s like a fat camp that I don’t have to pay for. And I could use the publicity.

I’m totally serious here, folks. This is a bleg (blog + beg = bleg). If anyone knows who I approach to get in line for the next one, please e-mail me!

UPDATE: I posted a follow-up on October 19th.