The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy finally gets approved. I have no clue what took so long. Jay Roach, the Austin Powers director who tried to make the film for six years, now cannot direct it because he’s working on sequels to Austin powers and “Meet the Parents.” (That has to truly suck…missing out on helming Hitchhiker’s Guide because you need to do a fourth round of poop jokes and tired sexual euphemisms.)

Will the Hitchhiker’s Guide movies be any good? ONLY if at least some of the characters are British. Let’s face it: Hugh Laurie of “Black Adder” and “Stuart Little” was made for the lead role. Lord help me, but if they move it to America and cast Ben Affleck, someone else will have to run Monitor Duty because I will be serving time for my Hollywood killing spree.