From The Scoop: FunMail Offers Cell Phone Comics Service

As if there wasn’t enough to keep us occupied with our cell phones while driving, FunMail, Inc., a Pleasanton, California-based wireless company, is planning to launch a network that will allow wireless users to read comics via their cell phones.

Mobile Comics Network (MCN) allows you to view comic strips like Beetle Bailey and Dilbert.

Frankly, my phone allows me to talk to people while on the go and that’s all I need it to do. Everything else is just a stupid way for a human being to waste expensive phone time; why do you think these companies keep coming up with silly time-wasters for your phone and PDA?

And can someone please explain to me these new ads where a bunch of people (executives at a meeting, a couple getting married) whip out their little walkie talkies and shout out partial sentences while they’re only two feet away from each other? I don’t really get what point they’re trying to make. For anyone who doesn’t already have this phone, the usefulness of it is not communicated by the ad. They leave me more baffled than a vague ad for a pharmaceutical that shows old people dancing in a cornfield because they can’t tell you what the “little pill” actually does.

Bah! In my day, cellular phones were 80 pounds and you had to carry them in a backpack with a 40 pound battery and we liked it! Then someone would call and it would frighten you so much you lost your balance and fell down a flight of stairs. That’s how it was. We were all a bunch of slumping hunchbacks with broken limbs shouting into cellphones that wouldn’t work if you were inside a building and we liked it!

(Here’s hoping my impression of Dana Carvey’s Grumpy Old Man holds up when you can’t hear it.)