Most of us are acquainted with the idea that the video games tied in to motion pictures are lesser offerings, often budget-priced mini-games.   In this case, however, the video game version of “G.I. JOE: The Rise of Cobra” is a direct sequel to the movie with an original plotline that picks up where the movie left off.  It is also inspired by the very first animated mini-series from the 1980s.  Obviously, some people have been doing their homework.

It is so directly tied to the movie that Zartan is not amongst the characters because he is occupied at the end of the film.  However, somehow the Joes don’t know who Cobra Commander is, despite their capturing him at the end of the film, and Destro is also at large. It makes me wonder if the movie’s ending was originally supposed to have Destro and Cobra Commander getting away. Actually, that would explain why their being captured and then locked up in tubes looked so fakey and disconnected from the scenes around it. If that’s the case, it would be too late for the game-makers to take that info account. Anyway, that’s my theory.

So long as I’m pitching theories about the behind-the-scenes politics, I’m guessing that the game-makers weren’t allowed to use any unseen characters that were likely to appear in any sequel to the film, which would explain why the characters you are allowed to play are either the prominent characters from the movie or some of the lesser lights who will never be in a sequel such as Sgt. Flash, Kamakura and Agent Helix (who?) but not Lady Jaye or Flint.

The Plot:  Baroness is being transported in the mobile PIT when Cobra Vipers beam in and teleport her away.  Yes, Cobra now has the MASS Device and their new teleportation ability is what you must seek out and disable/destroy.  The pursuit will take you through jungles, deserts, polar terrain and gigantic Cobra facilities.  You will rescue captured Joes, uncover more of the plot as you push forward, and listen in to Dial Tone’s snotty radio chatter.

The writing is not bad at all, especially when it comes to capturing the G.I. Joe tone and inserting some excellent inside jokes.   The character voices are sometimes funny, other times annoying (Gung Ho’s complaining every second that he isn’t shooting gets tiresome), and some of the voice acting is terrific.  The first time a Cobra BAT appears during an animated sequence, it is launched into the battlefield and lands with an Iron Mannish thump.  There is a slight pause as the Joes take in the image, since up til now they’ve just had to battle Cobra vipers and ninjas.  One of the guys observing your actions pipes in with perfect “what the hell?” comic timing: “Is…………..is that a robot?”

“G.I. Joe: ROC” is an old fashioned 3D arcade shooter. And I mean shooter; aside from pressing computer panels and the occasional recharging of some electrical generators…which is also done using your weapons…it’s all shooting.

You can play two-player or allow the computer to operate the second character (and you can switch between the two).  There are three classes of fighters: soldiers, commandos and heavies.  Soldiers are your standard fighters, commandos tend to have sword/close combat abilities (which are almost useless unless you’re fighting ninjas), and heavies can lay down some serious firepower.  One problem with this arrangement is that often you’ll get into situations where you need one type of fighter in order to access a locked door, and the only way to get that person on-site is to access a teleport pod if you can find one.

Each character has a different primary weapon and a different special ability.  Your primary weapon is the one that makes you just hold down the firing button for the whole game. Your secondary weapon might be something like a grenade or bazooka, which you have to acquire and you can only hold up to three at a time.  You can do a close-quarters attack (if you’re a commando such as Snake Eyes, this will be a sword strike), but often you’re bringing a knife to a gunfight.  An interesting aspect of the game is your reliance on cover in order to avoid fire and heal damage; you’d better get used to doing that if you want to survive at all.

Playing this for the Wii, I’m a little disappointed that it doesn’t take any advantage of the Wii’s controls.  This is entirely a button-driven game.

First problem I encounter with the game: I can’t see what I’m shooting sometimes.  This is one of the downsides of the X-Men movies and their “all those colorful costumes are now black, okay?” color schemes which have now become the standard for comic book adaptations.  When your characters are wearing black leather and the opponents are in dark costumes and you’re fighting in a dark cavern…well, that may be more realistic but it sure makes it hard to see what’s going on!  I think that’s one reason why your health indicator floats next to your character’s head: it also tells you which person you’re looking at.  The Wii’s weaker graphics can’t be helping.  But it’s more than that:  sometimes I’m successfully targeting something and I have no idea what it is.

That’s going to require some explanation.  The targeting system is a bit flaky.  Point in a direction with the movement stick, and if there’s a target there, the system will find it for you.  Nice.  Problem is, there are all of these non-enemy targets that you can also find, such as power-ups and little point boxes.  I can’t tell you how often I’m stuck in an intense firefight and then I realize that my character is choosing to blast away at a little box that’s worth some points instead of the two ninjas who are trying to kill me.  Granted, you can force the character to pick another target using the right/left/up arrows on the Wiimote, but those aren’t the most accessible buttons when you’re trying to use the B trigger.

The biggest frustration for any players will probably be the camera angles.  When the camera dictates that you are to move forward, the angle will not change if you decide you need to backtrack.  And you will need to backtrack at times to recover vehicles, grab points and goodies you missed, return to a teleport pod, or to take down some enemies you bypassed.  Unfortunately, you’ll be backtracking blind, running towards the camera as it shows you where you’ve been.  Other times, the people you need to shoot will be out of camera view.

Wild Bill and Lift Ticket (NPCs, I’m afraid) will airdrop various vehicles for you to use.  Steering the vehicles is sometimes a pain, but they can be a lot of fun and often they’re the key to taking down some of the heavy opposition.

Some bugs I’ve found: At times your shadow will appear halfway up the wall or even on the ceiling.  Also, bonus items will float in the air, beyond your ability to retrieve them.  Most annoying, enemies can shoot you through walls, boulders and stalagmites.

I do have to share one nice plus of the game: the accelerator suits are incorporated into the game, and here they make sense!  They act as a power-up which you can earn as you move along.  Activating the suit (with a hearty “Yo Joe!”) will give you invulnerability, deadly firepower, super-speed… and it kicks off an instrumental version of the much-missed “A Real American Hero” theme song!  If you disliked the accelerator suits in the movie, you’ll find them super-sweet here.

Similarly, Rip Cord (the character people hated in the movie) will be your best friend.  Your mileage may vary, but I found him quite useful because his special ability is a miniature robot cannon.  Run out into a firefight, throw down the cannon, and then leap back to the safety of a cement barrier while the cannon does a better job than you do of taking out enemy fighters, cannons and automatic gun towers.

The real challenge is not to get to the end of the story (which is surprisingly easy to do) but to stay alive.  If you play on easy mode, you can die and be reborn right away, but it costs you your points.  Harder levels will not respawn your character, but you can rejoin at the end of a checkpoint…and on the hardest level, you are dead, period.   I tried playing on the harder levels and it seemed almost futile; it’s bad enough losing points.  Thus, staying alive requires some real skill.

I don’t know if this game deserves the full sticker price of $50, but it’s definitely worth a rental.  As I said, I got through the storyline just by playing in the evening for a couple of days, which leaves only replaying the levels to get a better score and find any data files or other goodies that I’ve missed.  I would have preferred if this game had had more levels or more challenges, or perhaps some mini-games.  You could spend the same $50 to buy a Super Mario Galaxy or Twilight Princess that will preoccupy you for a good month or three; in that regard, “Rise of Cobra” is a lightweight game that you’ll be done with within the month.  That said, “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” has some problems, but it can be fun, especially with a friend.

Game mechanics: Bit Wonky
Story: Good
Acting: Excellent
Replay value: Medium
Graphics:  Good, not great, at least on the Wii
Inventiveness: Low

Overall verdict:  Rent this one, but definitely worth a rental.

5 out of 10