Here’s a dream come true: a young man heard a woman shouting “Stop! Thief!” after a pursesnatcher robbed her. He sprang into action and helped corral the bad guy, retrieving the purse.
Why a dream come true? Because he was WEARING A SUPERHERO COSTUME when he heard the damsel in distress!
See, he works for Galactic Pizza in Uptown Minneapolis. Uptown, for those of you who don’t know, is one of those eclectic little shopping areas where you find an old-fashioned theater showing midnight movies, the College of Comic Book Knowledge, record stores, the Uptown art fair, pot, etc. Lots of young people making good money, paying low rent and opening experimental businesses. (I just checked out their web site and “eclectic” is also the first adjective they use. Huh. I swear I hadn’t seen the site when I chose that word above.)
Galactic Pizza is an eco-friendly pizza place with electric delivery vehicles, hemp products, recycled pizza boxes, wind-powered electricity, vegan menus, 5% of net profits go to charity, etc. They’re so anti-business that they don’t even use a readable font for their website’s nav bar. (I’m teasing, of course, It actually sounds like a great place.) To emphasize that they are the good guys of the pizza delivery companies, all of their employees wear superhero tights and a cape. They don’t appear to have superhero names, but I could suggest a few.
(Actually, here he resembles the guy from Lode Runner.
Anyway, here’s the adventure of this ultra-rare superhero opportunity.
Holy pepperoni! Caped crusader stops purse thief
(NOTE TO AMERICAN PRESS: It has been 37 years since the Batman TV show. Most young people haven’t even seen it. It is, therefore, probably a good idea to stop using “HOLY ___!” and “POW! BAM!” in EVERY! SINGLE! ARTICLE! that is related to comic books. If not for the young people, do it for my sake.)
2 responses to “Pizzaman saves the day!”
HAL was a John Ritter film. In the film, he decides to continue to fight crime. However, as he has no metahuman abilities, he would have had to follow the solution Brian Garfield came up with for Death Sentence (the sequel to the novel Death Wish). Namely, shadow people who show up for arraignments, parole hearings, methadone treatment, etc.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Death_Wish
Hero At Large reminds me of this.
Allegedly, per a post on the AOL DC message boards of 1995 or so, a person sent to promote the 1989 Batman film in costume at a mall (in Florida?) stopped a crime in process. Of course, the veracity of this account remains too vague to verify.