Hutch and I talked about me doing this as a semi-regular comedy-type feature. So here we go. There are battles we want to see but never get to. Battles that SHOULD happen but either haven’t or simply haven’t YET. But why wait? Why not ask the question: WHAT IF THEY FOUGHT?! This entry’s fights: Ma…

Flying Cow Leaves Two Police Cars in Flames A flying cow (no, not this one) led to the destruction of two cop cars and one cop was almost run over by a truck carrying illegal aliens (no, not the ones abducting the cow).

This story is such a pick-me-up. CollegeHumor Movie: The amazing story of Jason McElwain. Jason is autistic, and for years he helped coach his high school basketball team. The last game of the season, the coach let him play. Read the full story at CBSNews.com. Hat tip to Lucianne.com, which has a cool picture, too.

Teen Shot in Fight Over Tater Tots A teenager was shot Monday afternoon after he was arguing over tater tots with another teen, San Antonio Police said. I think it went a little something like this.

Ashes Of ‘Scotty’ Soon To Be Space-Bound

Haven’t had much time for comic news this morning. I was reading something different. Debunking Hurricane Katrina Myths sounds like a political piece, but it’s actually a clear-headed engineering analysis of problems on the Gulf Coast. I’m posting it mainly for Phil, my Metro Med artist who lives on the coast and loves engineering stuff.

Science News – ‘Tenth Planet’ Bigger Than Pluto Scientists are debating whether our solar system’s 10th planet… unofficially named “Xena” with a moon named “Gabriel”… is officially a planet. After all, it’s bigger than Pluto, which many people doubt should be officially a planet (it isn’t in a proper planetary orbit and it doesn’t have…

I don’t want to get all “activist agitator” with you folks, but here’s the problem: I want to support a coffee company but I don’t actually drink coffee, nor does my wife. Our parents drink coffee at our house once in a blue moon, which means the one bag we own has lasted for some…

If you remember the Aquaman swimming naked post from the other day, you’ll love to read more of Peter’s Problems on his honeymoon Disney cruise. It involves honeymoon costumed fantasies and a guy in a bear costume. This guy either has the start of a very interesting life or his honeymoon will be so interesting…

I loved that quote (by the Big Brother version of Mom on Futurama). But it turns out that it can happen: Russian squirrel pack kills dog Cosmo is, of course, getting his dander up about it. Turns out the squirrels are turning to “other food sources” due to a famine. There must be a squirrel…